LETTER FOR MY MUM

Dearest Mum,

I have been wanting to tell you this for a while, but each time it came to the crunch, somehow I could not do it as I knew that I would be in tears and probably you would too and I would make no sense! So I have sat down to put my thoughts into words to express myself better, and no one will care if I cry while doing so:) Forgive me if this is jumbled.

I recently learned a lesson I think most children should learn at an early age - "The way to love someone is to realise you could lose them tomorrow". I have always "assumed" that being my mom you would be there for me always, and I took it too much for granted. When you became ill I think it was more of a shock to me than to you, as I suddenly realised that you were not eternal and that I could lose you tomorrow. I know that you are not scared of dying - its ME who is scared of you dying as I cannot for one minute imagine my world without you in it. It was a big shock for me, to know that sometime in the future you will be gone from my world, and I have been having a really hard time coming to terms with this. I know it is God's will, and the order of things - this does not make it any easier to bear. I now regret not spending more time with you. I can't alter that, but I try to be with you as much as I can and will do so for as long as I can. I worry that when you go to Wendy I may never see you again, that God may take you while you are there, I can't change that either and cannot help my feelings there and will just have to come to terms with that too when the time comes.

I just want you to know how very much I love you, you helped me become the person that I am, you have always been there when I needed you. You have always been so unselfish, putting your own needs and wants aside to help others, including me. I am so grateful for everything you have ever done for me - I could not have a better mom than you:) I am so happy that I inherited your love of animals, as it has enriched my life so! You have been the best mom in the world and for this I am so grateful.

I will come to terms with my feelings I suppose in time, but I needed to tell you how I feel and somehow just could not find the right words or do it without crying. Just know that I love you very much, and that when you leave my world there will be an empty hole there for a long time to come. I wish I could wave a magic wand and give you eternal life, but I can't. My sorrow is selfish I suppose, as its my own feelings that I cannot cope with, I know that you are not afraid of death. I am hanging onto the thought that one day we will be re-united, that thought is the glue that is holding me together right now:) For some reason I "needed" to tell you all this, can't explain why.

I love you lots, and will always treasure your memory and that you are my mom,

With love,

- ANNA -

Ulasan

Catatan popular daripada blog ini

Quality perspective

MENGUTIP PELAJARAN DI LALUAN KEHIDUPAN

LANTERA HARAPAN